


Like Elementary Schoolers

by Allythe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Feelings, IT WENT DOWN HILL IT TURNED INTO A HEELY WORSHIP FIC, M/M, Multi, Next Generation Captains (Haikyuu!!), Texting, but without the romance, emojis, futateru bromance, futayahashira, i actually enjoyed writing this!, i love terushima but he is a mess, i want heelys :(, idk whats happening but im having fun, lots of talk of heelys cause i miss them, maybe minor ennoakateru, my salty boys are bad at feeligns, normalize heelys, omg thats not a tag yet, rated teen just in case, third year second years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24415723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allythe/pseuds/Allythe
Summary: akaashfjhfjdk: okay is futakuchi still breathingfutacoochi: haha yeah wdym im finesimp king: are you sure bro?futacoochi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAafutacoochi: yeah
Relationships: Futakuchi Kenji/Shirabu Kenjirou, Futakuchi Kenji/Shirabu Kenjirou/Yahaba Shigeru, Futakuchi Kenji/Yahaba Shigeru, Shirabu Kenjirou/Yahaba Shigeru, maybe perhaps ennoakateru?? hmm
Kudos: 63





	Like Elementary Schoolers

**Author's Note:**

> I saw that nobody named themselves ceo of futayahashira and that nobody ever talks about them so ive decided to snatch the title myself!!! since i think about them 24/7. They are my three favorite characters i love them so much (im simping)
> 
> Pushed aside my seven wips for this lil thing, oops.
> 
> Instagram- shirabunny_ (all i do is scream about next gen captains on here lmao)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Im so sorry half of this fic is just talk of heelys.
> 
> most of my inspiration for this fic is from my gcs
> 
> Edit: few mistakes that i had to fix including tags so i had to update it 🤠 im stupid

**Group Chat: next gen pieces of shit**

**ennoshit:** hey

 **shirarart:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **simp king:** HEY GUYS!

 **futacoochi:** howdy

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** hello

 **yahabitch:** one of those replies isnt like the rest

 **futacoochi:** bowdy lets get rowdy

 **simp king:** YEEHAW 🤠

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** please no

 **ennoshit:** not again

 **futacoochi:** :(

 **ennoshit:** anyways please help

 **ennoshit:** my team is currently having a prank war and i have no clue how to stop it nothing is working

 **simp king:** yoooo that sound fun

 **simp king:** we should do that

 **shirarat:** no

 **yahabitch:** absolutely not

 **futacoochi:** awww

 **simp king:** :(

 **shirarat:** hey anyone wanna find the mean free path in helium at a temperature of 20k and at a pressure of 0.05atm?

 **futacoochi:** no

 **shirarat:** damn

 **shirarat:** i mean fair enough tho

 **shirarat:** it is a bit of work 

**shirarat:** and i doubt you even have the brain to do it

 **simp king:** damn haha

 **yahabitch:** oh shit ouch

 **futacoochi:** i hate you

 **futacoochi:** i hate you all

 **futacoochi:** teru y didnt u defend me :(

 **simp king:** sorry bro 

**futacoochi:** love u bro no homo tho

 **simp king:** love you too aye no homo 

**ennoshit:** okay that is enough stop

 **yahabitch:** thank you ennoshita

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** @shirarat 1230 nanometers

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ill take a picture of the work and send it to you. if you need any explaining with it though you can ask.

 **shirarat:** o h.

 **shirarat:** thank you akaashi :)

 **yahabitch:**!HE USED A SMILEY

 **futacoochi:** AND NOT IN A MEAN WAY TOO!

 **shirarat:** die. 

**simp king:** awww shiraboo u shouldnt be mean to your friends

 **shirarat:** die. 

**yahabitch:** yeah ew we arent shirabus friends 

**shirarat:** i will literally go to seijoh and kick you in the face.

 **ennoshit:** ladies chill

 **yahabitch:** fine

 **futacoochi:** haha u guys are losers

 **ennoshit:** futakuchi shut it

 **futacoochi:** ok :(

 **shirarat:** ha

 **simp king:** hey

 **simp king:** do you guys ever miss heelys

 **ennoshit:** what brought this up

 **simp king:** i was just looking at pictures of heelys

 **simp king:** why isnt it normal to ride down hallways in them anymore

 **shirarat:** cause they can be dangerous

 **ennoshit:** not safe

 **simp king:** NORMALIZE HEELYS

 **simp king:** imagine a plumber in heelys

 **simp king:** or seeing your surgeon heelys

 **simp king:** omg imagine seeing your dentist in heelys

 **simp king:** Fuck

 **simp king:** normalize heelys

 **futacoochi:** please i wasnt prepared to be thinking about a dentist in heelys thats so sexy

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** heelys could be convenient at most

 **ennoshit:** thats a fancy kink futakuchi

 **shirarat:** cursed statement.

 **yahabitch:** light up heelys...

 **futacoochi:** fuck thats so cool

 **ennoshit:** we could probably get all the volleyball teams to start a strike to bring back heelys

 **shirarat:** why are you playing along

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** im interested also

 **yahabitch:** hmm

 **shirarat:** I thought ennoshita and akaashi were the sane ones

 **ennoshit:** jokes on you

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** im pretty sure none of us are sane. 

**yahabitch:** terushima

 **ennoshit:** well...

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** sorta.

 **ennoshit:** ANYWAYS when are we going to strike 

**simp king:** one week from now, sendai station, we ride at dawn

 **futacoochi:** im ordering heelys right now

 **yahabitch:** okay at first i was kinda suspicious but now im sold

 **shirarat:** guys..

 **futacoochi:** somebody go to shiratorizawa a week from now and force heelys on shirabu

 **yahabitch:** kidnap him 

**simp king:** join us

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i got this.

 **ennoshit:** your in tokyo though

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i got this.

 **shirarat:** oh god, please dont buy a train ticket just for next week.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** theres no way to stop me.

 **yahabitch:** im going to literally go to my storage to look for my heelys

 **yahabitch:** y'all better not be joking 

**simp king:** im 100% serious

 **futacoochi:** good cause i already ordered mine

 **ennoshit:** imagine a volleyball match but instead of normal sneakers its heelys

 **shirarat:** that is so stupid.

 **simp king:** im so excited

 **simp king:** im telling my teammates to gather their heelys 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** ill pick up shirabu on the way.

 **shirarat:** you better fucking not show up to my school i swear 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** are you actually going to pick a fight with me?

 **shirarat:** nevermind

 **futacoochi:** im scared

 **simp king:** hot 🥵

 **yahabitch:** do you have a death wish?

 **ennoshit:** i told my teammates about the heelys and they abandoned the prank wars to come up with a plan

 **ennoshit:** thanks terushima

 **simp king:** ay no problem

 **futacoochi:** i would invite my team but they would probably tell on me

 **futacoochi:** old third years still like to babysit sometimes

 **yahabitch:** ill probably tell watari to join me next week

 **shirarat:** this is a nightmare

 **shirarat:** please tell me this isn't actually happening.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i am already planning on going to sendai station.

 **simp king:** remember. next week 

**ennoshit:** i wonder if making my team play volleyball in heelys would be a punishment...

 **shirarat:** that is so cruel

 **simp king:** playing in heelys is going to be so much fun!

 **yahabitch:** im pro heely but you will never catch me playing volleyball in heelys

 **futacoochi:** im afraid that mai will murder me if i show up to practice in heelys

 **simp king:** OH NO I FORGOT MY MANAGER

 **simp king:** eh she will probably be fine with it

 **ennoshit:** yachi doesnt seem to mind

 **ennoshit:** she actually looks excited

 **yahabitch:** cute 

**futacoochi:** we should heely to shiratorizawa to kidnap shirabu

 **shirarat:** dont

 **simp king:** okay! so we all know the plan?

 **ennoshit:** yes

 **shirarat:** DONT ENABLE HIM!

 **simp king:** how bout i enable you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

 **shirarat:** WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

 **yahabitch:** i have a feeling that shirabu is gonna burst into tears

 **shirarat:** IM NOT

 **futacoochi:** its okay to cry shirabooo

 **shirarat:** im going to push you into a highway

 **yahabitch:** i doubt your strong enough to do that

 **ennoshit:** oh my god

 **futacoochi:** hes too short to do anything

 **shirarat:** IM BARELY SHORTER THAN YOU GUYS

 **yahabitch:** just accept the truth

 **ennoshit:** jeez. you would think they would get over the pigtail pulling stage of romance

 **simp king:** oMF **😳**

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ENNOSHITA

 **ennoshit:** oops

 **shirarat:** WHAT THE HELL

 **yahabitch:** ITS NOT LIKE THAT EW

 **futacoochi:** SHUT UP

**ennoshit:**

**akaashfjhfjdk:**

**simp king:** awkward

 **ennoshit:** my fault

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i can't believe you.

 **ennoshit:** im sorry it was just getting so obvious

 **simp king:** i didnt know!!

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ah.

 **ennoshit:** how

 **simp king:** i thought they all hated eachother!

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** thats just how spiteful people like them express love.

 **shirarat:** no its not shut up

 **ennoshit:** oh wow shirabu is still standing

 **shirarat:** i hate you so much ennoshita

 **simp king:** oh so when shirabu says he hates you that means he loves you?

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** yes.

 **shirarat:** SHUT UP I HATE YOU

 **simp king:** awww

**shirarat has left the group**

**ennoshit:** im not surprised 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** so what are we going to do with yahaba and futakuchi?

 **yahabitch:** nothing cause im unaffected

 **ennoshit:** 😐

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** sighhh.

 **simp king:** im confused

 **ennoshit:** shhh

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** okay, is futakuchi still breathing.

 **futacoochi:** haha yeah wdym im fine

 **simp king:** are you sure bro?

 **futacoochi:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAaAAAAAa

 **futacoochi:** yeah

**ennoshit has removed yahabitch from the group**

**ennoshit:** we all know you like yahaba and shirabu

 **futacoochi:** no i dont

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** do not deny we are all trying to help you.

 **simp king:** WAIT FUTA U LIKE YAHABA AND SHIRABU?

**akaashfjhfjdk has removed simp king from the group**

**akaashfjhfjdk:** the both of us are here to help.

 **futacoochi:** oh goody

 **ennoshit:** im pretty sure we are the best option for you right now

 **futacoochi:** fine

 **ennoshit:** are you no longer denying your feelings?

 **futacoochi:** uuughh

 **futacoochi:** fine yes i like them

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** thats a good start.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** im not going to ask why you haven't told them cause i assume it's because you think they don't like you back.

 **futacoochi:** exactly

 **futacoochi:** wait wdym by think?

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** oh my god.

**ennoshit** **has added simp king to next gen pieces of shit**

**akaashfjhfjdk:** why.

 **simp king:** YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN

 **ennoshit:** sorry he was messaging me non stop

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** well he might be able to help a bit i guess.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** so basically futakuchi is dense.

 **futacoochi:** what

 **ennoshit:** PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW HOW DEFENSIVE THEY GOT WHEN I CALLED YOU GUYS OUT

 **futacoochi:** anybody would defend themselves when something like that is implied!!

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** sigghhhhh.

 **simp king:** thats not true!

 **simp king:** yahaba and shirabu are the type of people to get defensive over the truth i think

 **futacoochi:** you think

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** Im going to agree with terushima here.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** we have seen evidence of both of them denying things that were indeed true.

 **ennoshit:** also the radio silence from the both of them is extremely suspicious

 **futacoochi:** wait

 **simp king:** YOU GOT THIS!

 **futacoochi:** wait lemme process this????

 **ennoshit:** do you finally get it 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** yay.

 **futacoochi:** WAITWAITWAIT WAIt

 **futacoochi:** you think they like me back????

 **ennoshit:** your joking

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** celebrated too soon..

 **simp king:** i got this

 **simp king:** DUDE!! ITS NOT A THINK WE KNOW THEY LIKE YOU BACK!!!

 **simp king:** SO DONT JUST SIT HERE GO AND DO SOMETHING

 **simp king:** YOU GOT THIS DUDE

 **futacoochi:** what

 **ennoshit:** yeah futakuchi!! you got this

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** please stop being stupid and tell them.

 **futacoochi:** WAIT

 **futacoochi:** OKAY I GOT THIS

 **futacoochi:** ILL BRB

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i actually dont think that would've happened without you terushima.

 **ennoshit:** nice work

 **simp king:** wAIT REALLY? 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** yes.

 **ennoshit:** being confident and loud did the trick.

 **ennoshit:** all you had to do is raise his ego since futakuchi has a bit of a thick skull when it comes to feelings.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i think that's how it is for the majority of us.

 **simp king:** i hope you guys were right about yahaba and shirabu cause i wouldnt want this group to fall apart :(

 **ennoshit:** im 100% sure

 **ennoshit:** shirabu private chats me about how gay he is

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** and yahabas posts on his private story is just him ranting about them fondly.

 **simp king:** oh

 **futacoochi:** HhHHHHHHHhhhhhH

 **ennoshit:** oh hes back

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** what happened?

 **futacoochi:** i made a group with the both of them and texted them about it ahhaha 🤡

 **futacoochi:** im so scared are you guys sure about this

 **ennoshit:** did you even read the messages i sent

 **futacoochi:** oh!

 **futacoochi:** wait do they actually do that

 **ennoshit:** do you need proof

 **futacoochi:** uhm

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i would like to see this proof.

**ennoshit:**

> **simp king:** LMAOO 

**akaashfjhfjdk:** solid evidence.

 **ennoshit:** he texts me a lot to rant now

 **simp king:** what about yahaba

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** sadly i do not have any screenshots of his story so i can't send any, but there is proof.

 **ennoshit:** is futakuchi okay?

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** he went silent after the image was sent.

 **simp king:** are you blushhinggg

 **futacoochi:** NO

 **futacoochi:** ive never blushed in my entire life

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** this is a lie, i remember when we all hung out that one time and yahaba got really close to you that your face turned bright red.

 **simp king:** LMAOOO

 **ennoshit:** called out

 **futacoochi:** why am being bullied in my time of need

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** did they message you back?

 **futacoochi:** shirabu left me on read haha 🤠

 **ennoshit:** oh look i just got a text from shirabu brb

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** sighhh.

 **simp king:** why do you always type that out

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** to express my disappointment.

 **futacoochi:** ahsufhdhsuhuaskdhjkahdsjakhsdkjahdka

 **simp king:** chill bro u got this ur sexy af

 **futacoochi:** thanks bro. no homo tho?

 **simp king:** all the homo

 **futacoochi:** bro **😳**

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i hate being left with you guys.

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ennoshita please come back.

 **ennoshit:** back

 **simp king:** he was summoned

 **futacoochi:** haha anyways yahaba has been typing for awhile help im gonna combust

 **ennoshit:** i had to help shirabu out since he doesnt understand basic human interaction

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ah, goodluck futakuchi.

 **simp king:** he dont need luck

 **futacoochi:** i need luck

 **futacoochi:** anywho imma go wait for a reply bye

 **ennoshit:** that was a mess

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i do not enjoy being a matchmaker.

 **simp king:** does this mean they are going to be lovey dovey in chat?

 **ennoshit:** hmm

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** probably not.

 **simp king:** aww man does this mean i cant flirt with kenji if he gets 2 boyfriends

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** i wouldn't recommend it.

 **simp king:** aww okay :(

 **simp king:** guess ill just have to flirt with you guys more ;)

 **ennoshit:** dont even think about it

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** no thank you.

 **simp king:** heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩❤️💋👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** goodbye.

 **simp king:** :(

-

 **futacoochi:** so

 **ennoshit:** sooooo

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** what happened.

 **futacoochi:** you can add them back now

 **simp king:** BRO DID U DO IT

 **futacoochi:** yes and im busy screaming into my pillow

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** is that bad.

 **futacoochi:** no

 **futacoochi:** im gonna cry im so happu

 **futacoochi:** we are gonna hang out on saturday

 **ennoshit:** like a date?

 **futacoochi:** ye

 **simp king:** awwwwww thats cute

**ennoshit has added yahabitch and shirarat to next gen pieces of shit**

**akaashfjhfjdk:** congratulations, im glad you all stopped being so dense.

 **shirarat:** shut up

 **yahabitch:** we just got back and we are already being sassed

 **yahabitch:** has anything interesting happened since i got kicked 🙄

 **ennoshit:** just terushima flirting with futakuchi

 **shirarat:** what

 **yahabitch:** what

 **futacoochi:** oop

 **simp king:** 😳

 **simp king:** nnno i didnt 

**simp king:** ive only been flirting with keiji and chika ykykykyk

 **shirarat:** disgusting

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** indeed.

 **ennoshit:** that is not what happened at all

 **simp king:** ITS NOT JUST MY FAULT

 **simp king:** KENJI WAS FLIRTING BACK

 **futacoochi:** bro y would u betray me like this

 **simp king:** i dont want to be the only one to die

 **yahabitch:** lmaoo

 **futacoochi:** sry bby

 **futacoochi:** ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

 **shirarat:** thats the gay shit

 **yahabitch:** cause we are❤️

 **shirarat:** what

 **futacoochi:** finessed

 **shirarat:** jk🌈

 **ennoshit:** that was really gay

 **futacoochi:** no shit

 **simp king:** i want what they have

 **ennoshit:** that can be arranged

 **shirarat:** 😳

 **futacoochi:** that was suggestive

 **yahabitch:** this is hard to watch

 **ennoshit:** haha im joking that would be really gay

 **simp king:** oof heartbroken again

 **futacoochi:** dw bro i lov u <3

 **shirarat:** hey yahaba lets just ditch futakuchi

 **yahabitch:** okay

 **futacoochi:** bruh

 **yahabitch:** <3

 **futacoochi:** <3

 **shirarat:** less than three to you too

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** im not sure if i should find this cute or disgusting.

 **ennoshit:** im getting mixed feelings

 **simp king:** my heart is being broken over and over again

 **akaashfjhfjdk:** ❤️

 **simp king:** AHSJKDLFKDJSHGDJKSA

 **ennoshit:** nice

 **shirarat:** disgusting

 **yahabitch:** this group is a mess

**Author's Note:**

> normalize heelys
> 
> yes, that heelys rant was me. I want to ride to baking class in heelys.
> 
> I might create other oneshots of next gen captains gc, idk i had fun writing this one
> 
> ALSO I FOUND OUT MID WRITING THAT KOMAKI IS A NEXT GEN CAPTAIN AND I LOVE HIM SM IM FREAKING OUT

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Glitter in your step](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159447) by [Allythe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allythe/pseuds/Allythe)




End file.
